Looking at my life through retrospect..
A wide-eyed 5 year old little girl gazing off into the distance. A blank stare on the face, but with a dream full of ideas trapped in her mind. Absentmindedly letting her fingers grab any sort of writing utensil and paper just to jot them down. That little girl was and is still me. However, appearance may have changed, my mind is still aimlessly cluttered with so many things, I swear I have a hoarding problem.
I’ve always wished I were very talented. In the form of singing, playing a sport, or painting. That’s how people express themselves, you know? And for most of my life I disregarded my absolute love for writing as just something fairly odd I do. An odd thing in which I do to help me process my cluttered ideas, and views. However, I’ve come to realize…that I can do something with this slight obsession of mine.
I have notebooks upon notebooks, upon notebooks from years past. Of diary entries, stories, ideas, poems, songs, quotes, and just about anything I felt worth meaningful to jot down. Now speculating my pile of vulnerable deep words excerpted from the deep vastness of my mind, I figured it’s time to do something with it all.
Write. Start a Blog.
Now, I know my grammar or punctuation isn’t perfect. And sometimes, I have very deep thought- out run on sentences…
However, behind that all…Is a 21 year- old girl. Growing up in the circus, to moving all over the U.S. solely for the fact that her mom has had 10 husbands. Meeting people, just to say good-bye. Living in the obscenity of drugs and alcohol, and by God’s grace being brought out of that. To living with strangers at 17 to graduate high school on the opposite side of the country. To living in a tent in the middle of Africa. Living and breathing their every day life. Even contracting malaria. To now finding myself like that little 5 year old version of me, still with a wide- eyed gaze, in the middle of this crazy world, with experiences way beyond my years.
I call this naive notes. I thought it was ironically appropriate. I believe this life is a beautiful,sad, wonderful, funny, glamorous, and terrifying journey. And it doesn’t just all go to nothing when we pass away. Every day I’m learning something new. Something different.
You can learn from experiences.
You can learn from people.
You can learn from trials,
You learn from God.
Naive: Simple and guileless; Lacking worldly experience and understanding
I think we are all naive to something in this world. We never know it all, nor will we ever. Only God can do that. And, I hope that if you find any beauty, or goodness in my writings..all of that goes to our BEAUTIFUL creator in heaven. With out our creator, where would be the creation?